_____ _ |_ _| |__ ___ | | | '_ \ / _ \ | | | | | | __/ |_| |_| |_|\___| _____ _____ _____ | | __| _ | _____ | | | __| |_| | |_____| |__|__|_____|_____| ______ __________ / ____ \ _____ |____ ____| ____ _ | / \_|___ |\ /||__ __||\ | || | _ | \ |\ | | | | / \ | \_/ | | | | \ | || |/ _ \ | ~ / | \ | | | | _| O | | |\_/| | _| |_ | |\ \| || | __/ | |\ \ | |\ \| | | \____/ \___/ |_| |_||_____||_| \__||__|\___\ |_| \_\|_| \__| \______/ E-MAG -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- The Neo-Comintern Installment 23 We are The 5th International June 17th, 1998 Editor: The BoSS MC Assistant Editor: Komrade B Writers: BMC Komrade B -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- GOT TO BE PLATINUM -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- SPECIAL PLATINUM ISSUE Featured in this installment: Ultima+Revolution=Utopia -Komrade B If You Live Without Golf, Do You Truly Live? -Komrade B 1-800 Numbers -The BoSS MC Praise For The Comintern -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- ULTIMA + RELOLUTION = UTOPIA By Komrade B (Originally presented in The Comintern #8) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The concept of returning to a far off age interests me very much. Let's go back to say, oh, 1917, when the Bolsheviks under Lenin were ready to topple the tsarist regime. Well let's put that revolution into, say, Ultima 1. A Communist government, as opposed to a monarchy. People would no longer be able to just waltz in and say steal a metric tonne of food. Even if they did, they wouldn't be showing their faces in that town, or any other town again, because the KGB would mount a nation wide manhunt with the help of the monsters to bring him to justice. This takes too much energy, so the assailant would be abducted before he even had the chance to thieve, because the guards would arrest him because they didn't like his looks even before he stole the food, and they would have him in one of the monster labour camps before he even laid his rubby hands on my food. -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- IF YOU LIVE WITHOUT GOLF, DO YOU TRULY LIVE? By Komrade B (Originally presented in The Comintern #8) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- If the world was like Zany Golf then nobody would be bored. The idea of narcotics would be gone, because reality clean and sober would be more than enough. Most people would probably walk, because driving would be a living hell. You would have to go through a windmill and free fall three hundred feet and hope you fall into the right hole or you would go somewhere bad. For example, you would fall into the middle of the ocean . This would put you off a couple of strokes, and if you do that too many times you just disappear and your turn is over. Well, that would be it. just let your own mind go to work at the possibilities, and while you're at it, think of Communism and the possibilty of implementing it on Canada. Thank you for your time. -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- 1-800 NUMBERS By The Boss MC (Originally presented in The Comintern #14) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Readers, I called a 1-800 number today. It was the line you call to get an America Online Membership. I asked the lady where she was. She said she was in Texas. I was in Saskatchewan. We both agreed that that was pretty far away. Think about that. I opened up a Rolling Stone magazine. I saw an ad for a Compuserve Start-Up Kit, and some free hours online. The message told me to call back on Monday. Think about that. I phoned a 1-800 number for a gay couple missing the most beautiful part in their life. They wanted to adopt someone. I wanted to ask them to adopt me. They were out of my calling area. Think about that. I called an adoption agency from a 1-800 number in the Rolling Stone. A family named Jennifer and Corey wanted to adopt someone. Corey claimed to be an athlete/actor. I talked to a woman in California, and asked her to describe this "Corey's" credentials. He is in a show called "The Renegade" which is produced in Cali. He is also a weight lifter. I asked her if she knew where Saskatoon was. She said, "Is that somewhere in Washington?". I said, "No, it's in Saskatchewan-You know, Canada." She asked me if my girlfriend was pregnant. I said no, i wanted to get adopted by them. She laughed and asked me how old I was. I said I was 18, and I guess they were looking for a newborn or something. She offered me a job on a farm, though, but I declined. Think about that. I called SunQuest Wolf Tanning beds at their 1-800 number. They told me to hold. An operator came on the line. OP-Hello, how may I help you? ME-I'd like to order a- OP-One moment please. So, this man came on the line, and he took my order. He didn't know how to spell Saskatoon. I asked where he was. He was in Indianapolis, Indiana, he claimed. Think about that. I called the Penile Lengthening and Enlargement Center for Men. The 1-800 number was out of service. So don't bother thinking about that. I called the Term Paper Assistance Hotline. Those bastards told me to call back too. Think about that. I called 1-800-love-god so that they could fill my head with their bizarre ideas. The operator put me on hold, then I put her on hold, then she put me on hold again. I asked her to guess what state Saskatoon was in, but she didn't even try. I told her I was in CANADA and she was dumbfounded. It seems that she was in Wisconsin. Think about that. On Tuesday, I called Compuserve again. I got a really shitty automatic operator, but I didn't have a touch tone, so I waited for a real operator. She was pretty boring. She claimed to be in Columbus, Ohio, but I don't know if I should trust her. Think about that. Please think about all of this. -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- PRAISE FOR THE COMINTERN (Originally presented in The Comintern #12) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- " Well, none, but the Comintern is cool!" -Demon Knight "Damn them Fascists" -J.H. " Poetic!" -D.K. "A tiny BBS could use an attraction like The Comintern" -J.E.J. "The Cast of The Comintern is Cool!" -Jason, age 13 "It interested me greatly to read the two articles you wrote concerning Communism and ignorance inside the financial class system. It was intriging and refreshing." -Lord Chunderspew "If you want anyone to , I'd do it." -The Denominator -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- ___________________________________________________ |THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S | |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 | | CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 | | THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 | |___________________________________________________| |Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 | |Email The BoSS MC at manta1@hotmail.com | |___________________________________________________| -\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/- Copyright (c) 1998 Comintern Publications and The Boss MC All Rights Reserved. #23-6/7/98