going ape shit press #52 by ilsundal and pip the angry youth

  :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:
            frennie and the five toes of the armageddon part one

  once upon a time on a tiny farm there lived a young flower child named
  frennie hannibal.  frennie was a strange sort of person, as he hadn't
  any fingers or toes, but this didn't daunt him... much.  he did in
  fact had his mind, which was a powerful sex tool, and his mind he did
  use.

  one fatefull day frennie was walking down the street where he happened
  to notice a pair of dancing shoes lying on the sidewalk.  at first he
  seemed rather puzzled, but after a week with the pair of dancing shoes
  he grew quite fond of them.  dancing in the morning, dancing in the
  afternoon, dancing before dinner, and dancing in the evening, he
  brought his meek little body into complete buffness and definition.

  he didn't know it, but the shoes had a big surprise for frennie, they
  were from the reticuli star cluster.  this particular star cluster was
  located in the lower quadrant of an extremely enourmously supremely
  huge elefant's rear end that constituted frennie's universe.  being
  from the reticuli star cluster, obviously they were enchanted, which
  would make quite a bonous on frennie's behalf.

  you understand, of course, that enchanted shoes had a tendency to make
  stories quite silly, and silly this story shall be.

  [the face was not yet unspoken, but frennie did not know it, which
  obviously meant something way beyond his mentality, but we won't get
  into that, yet.]

  frennie became quite famous for his dancing skills, and the enchanted
  shoes enhanced his dancing abilities and finesse.  now that frennie
  was famous, he was getting in on alot of loot which made him think
  about a toe operation.  now we all know that toe operations can be
  rather expensive, so he went to dr farkle, the local toe doctor down
  the road.  we all know dr. farkle was a little on the 'nutsy' side,
  but that didn't stop frennie from a nice bargin.

  the good doctor had alternate plans for frennie's new toes, he planned
  world conquest.  riches, power, beautiful women, spandex, and peanut
  butter m&m's.  he decided that the best course of action for him was
  to make each and every toe in frennie's left foot a seperate entity, each
  was a highly trained and specialized killing machine.

  the big to was known as butch, he was the strongtoe of the bunch... he
  could bend a paperclip with just his cuticles.  the second toe was a
  ventriliquist, being able to throw his voice, making things seem to
  talk, and also being able to look like a fake toe.  his name was
  vinnie.

  the third toe, he was the shy but clever toe.  she practiced wiccan
  arts, and was practicing to be the high priestess of all toes.  this
  instilled fear in many other toes, being that he could read anyone and
  everyone's mind and all.  she was the most beautiful toe ever created,
  and so her name described buty, cassandra.

  the fourth toe practiced the martial arts and could cast minor healing
  spells.  he knew how to manipulate every weapon known to toe kind, he
  trained himself in the himilias with tibetan monks.  his name was
  urotosockodogilingus.

  the fith toe, pinky, was the brains of the operation.  he could
  formulate a plan to get them into or out of any situation possible,
  and could recite the constitution backwards (and in pig latin).

  with thier powers combined, they form captain toe jam!!!  captain toe
  jam is stronger than any foot deoderant, disinfectant, or corn
  remover.  he could wield toe fungus like a pig could wade in its own
  fecal matter.  this was quite an advantage to frennies left foot, but
  was it for frennie?

  :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:

   to be continued my friends...