gggg a&&a mgggg. ,g&$"` '$$$$,g&$"` '$&g,gggg. gggggggg,g&$"` '$&g, $$$$: ,g&$"` '$&g, $$$$: $$$$$$$$: $$$$$$$$: $$$$$$$$$$$$: $$$$ $$$$: $$$$: $$$$ $$$$: ::$$$$$$$$: $$$$$$$$: $$$$$$$$$$$$: $$$$"""$$$$"""$$$$: ::$$$$ $$$$: $$$$$$$$: $$$$$$$$: gggggggggggg. $$$$: $$$$: $$$$: $$$$ $$$$: $$$$$$$$: $$$$$$$$: $$$$$$$$$$$$: $$$$: $$$$: $$$$: $$$$ $$$$: gggggggg. $$$$$$$$: ::$$$$$$$$$$$$: $$$$: $$$$: $$$$: $$$$ $$$$: $$$$$$$$''''""``$$$$: $$$$$$$$$$$$: $$$$: $$$$: $$$$''''""`` ``""''''""````""''''$$$$``""''''""`` ``""''''$$$$: ``""''''$$$$ ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() deviate e'zine -- issue: 1.03 -- released 07/30/97 deviate magazine is a publication of surreality enterprises. all matter contained within is the property of surreality, and may not be duplicated without the expressed, written consent of both the author and surreality enterprises. deviate may be distributed freely, in its entire original state, provided no fee is charged for its retrieval. ^(---!- table of contents -!---)^ %-( deviate ascii header, by aCkONE/rMRS81 %-( editorial: six dollars and sixty six cents, by mindcrime %-( spattered suburbia, by kiwi %-( beautiful reality, by mindcrime %-( exposition, by flood %-( sin and redemption, by mindcrime %-( millennium dawning, by mindcrime %-( assignment due tomarrow: save the world, by mindcrime %-( back page: embrace my digital utopia, by mindcrime ! %-( deviate ascii footer, by necromancer/rMRS81 ! & @% ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() i look into the mirror see myself, i'm over me i need space for my desires have to dive into my fantasies i know as soon as i'll arrive everything is possible cause no one has to hide beyond the invisible close your eyes just feel and realize it is real and not a dream i'm in you and you're in me it is time to break the chains of life if you follow you will see what's beyond reality... - michael cretu, enigma ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( editorial; $6.66 ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` part one - my entire life, i have been under the impression that i was the most perfect being in the entire universe. call me egotistical, call me self- centered... it's all true. i always thought that my ways were perfect, that my opinions were always the most wholesome ones. i believed in the freedom of the individual, and through that i was the most open-minded and righteous person on earth. perhaps perfect is a strong word, though. i never thought i was really smart. i'm surrounded by computer nerds and extremely intelligent people every second of my life, and their intelligence towers over mine. that was never really the issue, though. i always thought that my opinions and morals were so extremely high, that i was the center of all that was right in the world. somehow between issue two and three of this 'zine, i realized that there is no one perfect entity, and, if there was, i would sure as hell not be it. sure, i'm pretty open-minded. my morals are high. i don't do drugs, i don't smoke, i don't go out and beat people up for fun. but is that really what makes a person good? i realized sometime recently that i'm constantly changing my ways. last issue i mentioned how against the idea of angst i was. this issue i have nothing but pure, unadulterated angst. i was always against the idea of being this angry young man. i was always high on my horse about being the happiest, most laid back person on earth. i still don't care about anything, and it might even be said that my angst is all forced, that i don't believe any of it; and to an extent, that's certainly true. when it comes right down to it, nothing really matters. but sometimes it can be fun to let your angst take over and decide to assimilate the world with your completely deranged and maniacal mind. sometimes we need a little angst to keep a purpose for living alive in our mind. what would the world be if no one cared about anything? when i thought about writing this editorial, i thought i would write a little something about how i completely contradicted my last editorial spewing over the course of the last few months. the problem is, i wasn't really looking at the big picture. the point is that people change. i changed. i'm always changing, and learning to accept that change is part of being open-minded. so these editorials reflect my mind at the time of writing. everything i say can completely change itself around in my head by the time i write another one of these rants. who really knows what's going to happen? we need to just take it all in stride. live with change, because it's going to happen as you grow older, as you grow wiser, and if you don't embrace it you're going to end up hating yourself, hating your life, and hating the universe around you. how could you go through life hating a universe that could very well be populated by small, green, sarcastic aliens? i don't know about you, but i'm pretty ecstatic about my own private universe. i guess what i'm really trying to say is, "i'm still perfect! NYEH!" part two - welcome to deviate issue three. it's a little different than the rest, as you'll realize as you go down through the text. it's all part of the change, the deviation. i mentioned it last issue, and i'll reinforce it this time around. this 'zine is completely loopy. it'll change as i change, and i'll be damned if that isn't alot of change. so maybe, just maybe, you'll find something that you like in one of these issues. it's just a bunch of really loppy stuff that people have written and i've decided to publish. is there meaning behind the writing? probably. is it abundantly apparent to the reader? most likely not. but the fact of the matter is that there's a good chance it wasn't really clear to the writer either. the interpretation of the writing presented here is your own. we don't force our opinions down your throat like some sort of deranged high school english teacher. if you can get something, anything, out of this writing, then i'm sincerely happy. be your own entity. ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( spattered suburbia ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( kiwi ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` the wind played a gentle tune as it whistled through the sunlit branches and the leaves danced and rustled above the well kept suburban lawn. the ax fell down again amongst the tattered remnants of what was once a human torso. birds twittered away as they aligned onto a white picket fence. incense curled up from the wounds and great fountains of blood sprayed almost a mist over the patio. the long stemmed flowers swayed and smiled upward at the warm may sun on this lovely monday. strange iron shapes were pinned to various pieces of mangled flesh and the incense coalesced into a loose but unmistakable face of a demon. teeth bared, it feasted on the flesh until it's bull like muzzle dripped of human blood. this face grew even more substantial now, shimmering veins pulsated on its neck and face and two long, black horns slid out of its temples. it seemed a cattle skull with black skin stretched taught over a network of quivering arteries. grunting an unearthly cry it vomited up onto the site of the sacrificial summoning. steel rings rolled out of the steaming bile and scorched the cement, each holding a small flame where the stone would have laid had they been forged by human hands. having done this the horns faded, and then the face, and finally the teeth hung over the blood spattered patio with steaming trails of saliva dangling down. then it all dissipated into the fresh spring air. the demon gone, the rings quietly crumbled to ash. . . . "jesus christ kevin, don't you see she's gone?" the voice buzzed through the phone. "she's done it before, saying it's over then coming back," detective kevin ivan lavien answered, trying to convince himself. "it's not quite midnight, she'll ask me to come back within the hour." "she locked you out of the house and put a restraining order on you for god's sake!" "that doesn't mean she doesn't love me and doesn't want me around," lavien spat the words out of his mouth as if to be an insult. "actually, it does mean she doesn't want you around," the voice retorted with plain reason. a stifled beep wheezed from under kevin's jacket which was flung over the back of a particularly uncomfortable hotel room chair. "hang on a second, my beeper is, well, beeping." setting the phone down on the motel 6 bed, he shuffled over the coarse low-pile carpeting towards his jacket and fumbled inside the deep pockets for his beeper. "damn." was all he said, staring blankly. "hey bill, i'll call you back, something came up. . ." his voice shook and cracked as he bit back tears. "what was the beep about, you ok?" bill sounded genuinely worried. "i'll just call later." kevin hung up and slid on yesterday's socks. they felt sweaty. he always hated putting on unwashed socks. the tears stopped and he dressed himself the rest of the way. he checked his sharp and stubbled face in the mirror for signs of crying. a few seconds later he was in his car speeding towards what was his house. . . . he didn't bother to turn off the car or the headlights, he simply opened the door and ran towards the back yard. police tape was already thickly webbed all about the property and red-blue lights flickered across the aluminum siding. he crossed into his side yard passing several other officers examining the crushed grass or probing the drain pipes with latex gloves. turning the corner into his back yard kevin promptly threw up. pieces of shimmering flesh hung on iron meet hooks that dangled from the clothes line. the whole yard glittered with black blood and white pieces of cartilage. intestines were delicately arranged in a 5 pointed star within a circle on the patio's thick cement slabs. teeth had been pushed into the gastral lining at regular intervals giving it the odd look of a disfigured mouth. ashes lay in the middle of this unholy star and chips in the cement formed strange symbols. collecting his senses and wiping his chin with a handker- cheif, kevin mustered enough professionalism to look for foot prints amongst the gore or for anything revealing at all. cocking his head back and letting his burning, over-tired, eyes stare up at the cold stars standing far off, he gritted his teeth. letting his gaze lower, he saw the second story bedroom window, directly above the patio, was smashed, and thick lines of blood poured all the way from the window sill to the lawn drenching a large patch of sod. it seemed to rain there, a torrent cascaded out of the window's gaping maw and razor teeth hung out, imitating the splintered glass. "it's female. or, was female." said a forensic detective in the background as he examined a piece of mutilated pubic bone. "i'll go back to my little motel room. have dispatch call me if there are any questions that need answers tonight." kevin said to no one in particular. he walked back around the house ducking security tape. climbing into his car, he saw a news truck packed with reporters and cameramen squeal to a stop, teetering back and forth, next to him. "the vultures are here." he called the familiar warning out his open car door and slammed it shut. the phone rattled on its thick plastic receiver. covers rustled uneasily and a hand poked out from under a crumpled pillow. fumbling for the phone and slapping the sheet from his face, kevin met the morning. "what." he demanded flatly in a voice that croaked from just awakening. "i am satan." the deep torn syllables scratched through the ear piece in a shout that made his ears ring. the phone grew hot and slippery in kevin's hand. he was at a complete and utter loss. he felt fear and curiosity but had no idea of how to respond. "she is dead by my hand." the unasked question was answered. whatever was on the other end of the line had killed, no, obliterated, his wife. curiosity was replaced wholly with rage, but fear still held a place along side it. "window." the voice spat. sliding out of the bed and slipping on his shoulder holster and trousers kevin felt the phone burn against his chin and shoulder. "why?" he tried to sound authoritative but the babyish and broken tones that fell on the receiver held nothing but the near unbridled fright of a 6 year old who had lost it's mother. wisps of smoke streamed from the mouth piece and with a shout kevin dropped the phone. the phone fell and the chord contracted, dragging the phone a few inches towards the base and burning a trail in the carpet. sliding his shoes on kevin saw the morning sun, that had turned the white of his bed spread into a warm yellow, fade and blacken. night settled on his little room in motel 6. smashing the light switch up and snapping his berreta 9mm from its sheath brought kevin a feeling of meager security as he tiptoed towards his window facing the rear parking lot. a thunder rolled through the room and the light flickered acknowledging a being of immense evil as the glass slowly cracked and then burst asunder, allowing the haggard over 9 foot tall demon to enter. detective lavien wet his drawers. a hideous goat like head and legs adorned what appeared to be a humanoid figure. steam curled from the doubled over monstrosity, circling slowly about the spike-like horns protruding from the shoulders and cranium. massive chest muscles twitched, launching a massive spiked and barbed fist through the ceiling with a trail of blue sparks. the hand descended from the second floor, clutching a torn human leg. thick lines of blood dangled from the gash in the roof while a severed artery formed a mist of spurting black which clung to the beast's dark red skin. the huge head barked and dropped the leg to thump on the short hotel carpeting. kevin leveled his pistol while hot tears flooded his face and he unloaded his entire clip into the spawn of satan. he seemed detached as the silvery backs of his bullets slid from the barrel. the first of his barrage crept toward the demon's face and finally made contact. the tight skin tore away and then the shell punched through the thick bone of it's left cheek. shards of ivory popped out and exploded from the back of the skull as the second bullet made contact. eight rounds blasted all the destruction mankind could muster into the face of evil itself. kevin ivan lavien had expected the thing to either die or to see the gaping and gorish wounds heal themselves miraculously or anything but what came to pass. the beast, with the pieces of its mangled face hanging from strands of skin, sinew and arteries, did not seem to even know it had been shot. the wounds didn't keep the demon from tearing out kevin's ribs by bending them outward through the skin one at a time or from digging 6 inch nails into his kidneys. prayers fell from lips dribbling wet and warm blood. prayers not for aid or retaliation, not even a final confession, only prayers that soon he would be dead and alone. . . . the next morning, house keeping came into the corner room of motel 6 and discovered kevin's battered and broken body. ribs stuck strait outward and horrible gashes and tears laid all over him. his head was cocked at an odd angle and the expression was unattainable, due to a slash to the bone across his mouth and cheeks. the sun shone through the window pane and onto the gun in it's holster that lay on the bed. the ceiling sat untouched. the murder was filed away in police records next to the homicide report on mrs. lavien. the cabinet in which they were put bore the tag, "some things are better left unknown." ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( beautiful reality ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` she lies down, and closes her eyes, and the light from omnipotent life dissappears from view. ocular representations of life's pure energy smothered. enter my wandering mind. the colors and patterns, swirling and twirling inside. reality's perception outside. inside. oxygenated. breathing and rising, rising and falling. beautiful reality with mixed up words, beautiful reality flying high in the sky like energy birds, carry the message, break through the bonds. thumping and pumping through beautiful reality. who's perception is yours? is my perception hers? thinking and pounding through the colors and energy and the beats pound through with the treble and bass. electrosonic soundscapes and transverse waves. a beautiful reality. escape... my beautiful reality. ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( exposition ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( flood ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` through her loving eyes she baded me [so deep] i could float in them forever, swim in the depths lose myself, and have you bring me back in a snap so brief and exposing i knew you. [i love you] ecstasy like a drug, you were in my system i could feel your blood in my veins a soft regulatory rhythm between us in limbo nothing could break us i loved you. [i love you] surreal i brushed your lips and gave you all I had all of my possessions, my body my heart, my love, my life and i thought nothing can break us but i doubted you [i love you] and a snap again synapses convulsing as a harsh stinging dream came to be truth and the truth mangled my trust and murdered it, and you laughed as your moves destroyed my very being and then i knew you. [i love you] like a sheep, i followed, i trailed your path of destruction of me picking up myself and handing them to you in a woven basket of my guilt and fear i knew the truth. [i love you] through soft-spoken words you smothered me burying my doubts until i was deceived until i knew no more about myself and it was far too late to turn back but i did And i hated you [i love you] no, my eyes, they opened that day and i looked around me and saw myself splayed about, with you pulling the strings driving my life to a destined hell and i woke up and i threw you away and i hated you for it [i love you] no! i screamed, and screamed again feeling my words hit a hollow personality and i shattered your intentions with the meaning of my actions and i watched shards of you fliter out of my life slowly silently gone [...] ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() + -- sin and redemption: editor's comments -- + i've been working on this story for quite some time, on and off, usually while in school. i really wasn't sure where i wanted to go with a lot of it, and i'm not sure it turned out completely how i would have liked. on the whole, it's not a bad story, but there are parts which i would have liked to work through better. it just got to the point where i was sick of writing this story and wanted to move on, so here it is. respect goes out to the original writer's of "the crow". i think it's safe to say that i was heavily influenced by that work. ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( sin and redemption ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` the sunlight streamed across the bedroom, playing off of the reflective surface of her freshly opened, beautiful green eyes. gabriel was up early today, perched upon the wooden stool and staring out at the glass distorted landscape like a raven awaiting a lost soul. "look at them. wound up little tin soldiers, marching their way through the monotony of their push-button lives." "there you go again, getting yourself worked up over something you have no control over. come back to bed, honey." gabriel closes the black curtains that draped over the window's edge, cutting off a good portion of the light and rendering the room dark as night. he climbs back into bed next to alex, her smooth skin brushing up against his thigh, reminding him just how lucky he is to have her. he had been tired the night before after a long day at work, but they managed to make up for lost time as the morning progressed through early afternoon. the sun was now starting it's slow decent over the western horizon. gabriel and alex sat down for a late lunch after getting out of bed, starting their day while other's were already in full swing. the weekend was their time together, and this saturday was no different. gabriel, due to the nature of his job, worked nearly every night, but the days were his to spend with alex, showing their undying love for one another. "don't go to work tonight, honey. we'll stay in and cook a nice dinner. it'll be fun!" "you know i can't do that, alex." "god damn you, gabriel. you're not going to save the world in one fucking night. you work too much, damnit." "honey, you know i have work to do. i can't stay home and rest while the scum of the world run rampant in our streets, destroying the very fabric of our existence. it's the god damn apocalypse out there, and i've got to do something about." "you're not batman, gabriel. the world needs more help than you can give it, can't you realize that?" "of course i realize that, but that's no reason to quit. i have a skill that can help the honest people of this world, and i'll be damned if i'm not going to do everything in my power to use it." gabriel throws his napkin down on the table and gets up. "i'll be home later, you know i will. we'll have fun then. right now i have to work. i have to put my conscience at ease. i've got to save this god forsaken world." "fine. just make sure you come back, because i'll kill you if you die on me." "haha. have i ever gone back on a promise?" "don't get cocky, just come back." "of course." "i love you, gabriel." "i love you, too, alex. don't get into too much trouble while i'm gone." alex gets up from the table and surprises gabriel with a passionate kiss which lasts for what seems like days. with that, gabriel walks out the door and out of view. it was nearly dark out now, alex was in the shower, freshening up before gabriel returned. she had a surprise ready for him, and she wanted everything to be perfect. stepping out of the shower, she hears a knock on the door. throwing a towel around her nearly perfect body, she yells out to the person behind the door. "who is it?" "a friend of your boyfriend's." opening the door frantically, she fears the worst. "my god, what is it? what's happened to gabriel?" "nothing's wrong with your boyfriend, girlie. it's you you should be worried about." the stranger closes the door behind him and pulls out a pair of black leather gloves, stretching them over his large hands. alex drops her towel and starts to run. without a second exit to the small apartment, she only gets as far as the bedroom before rolling up into a ball and cowering in the corner. the stranger pulls out a .45 caliber pistol, checking the clip to ensure that it's loaded. "please. don't kill me, i've done nothing to you. i don't even know you. please. please. PLEASE!" alex takes a final breath before screaming. "NOOOO!" one shot to the middle of the forehead and she stops her restless breathing. * * * nearly midnight now, the moon high above the earth showers down on the desolate world below. gabriel is tired, making his way slowly up the five flights of stairs to his top floor apartment. he unlocks the door and steps into the moonlight drenched apartment, the curtains blowing wildly in the breeze from the open windows. it is cold and damp, and not a single light is lit. "alex? honey? are you there?" flicking the living room light on, he sees nothing. the apartment is as he left it, except for the abcense of any living soul. gabriel throws his leather jacket onto the back of a kitchen chair and opens the refrigerator, grabbing a cold soda to refresh his depleted thirst. he moves into the bedroom and flicks on the light. "my god. NO. ALEX!" dropping his now open soda, he rushes toward the lifeless corpse. his pulse is racing nearly to the point of bursting a vein. he feels around for her pulse, but the hole in her soft-skinned forehead tells him that it's a lost cause. "no... this can't be. please god, what did i do to deserve this? GOD, WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME?!?!?!?" * * * the rage, he feels so much. the sadness, it's burning up inside. the questions, he has many. the grief, he has never known a greater pain. the pain. excruciating pain. so much pain. why? his days are filled with rage, his nights with tears and the hope that someday the pain will subside. his mind, always so bent on the prospect of revenge, the hope that some day his actions would clean the world of it's filth, was now filled only with sadness and a fear that is indescribable. he feels the rage, but knows not how to manifest it... he feels the pain, but cannot harvest it. the sweet smell of revenge fills the air, but he cannot clear his mind of the sadness... the bitter sadness. his god is dead. for thirteen days he felt the pain. for thirteen days he felt the sadness. for thirteen days he felt the grief. on the fourteenth day there is only one feeling left: rage. * * * the previously sun drenched land was cool now in the first hours of the night. the moon was full, but, sheltered by the numerous thin, shooting clouds, gave off only limited light. activity on the streets had halted, as if the coming of night had brought death to the world below. far above the earth, a stone gargoyle stared heavily at the deserted streets, doubling as a floating fortress for gabriel, his katana buried in the creature's stiff head. the gaze of his seemingly black eyes, fixed on the ruckus causing creature stammering through the streets below, pierced through the night like a bullet through water. the drunken suluc, merely a pawn in the game of life, stumbled through the alley across the way, trying to make his way to the "glass shadow." taking sword in hand, gabriel steps off the platform and onto a thin electrical wire stretched across the dark street. playing the balancing act he was so fond of showing off, gabriel positions himself several meters above suluc. the sword, falling quickly through the night, pierces the street, frightening the nervous drunkard. "what the fuck was that?" his voice is uneven and cracking. gabriel jumps to the ground below, directly in front of the vagrant. "the sum of all your fears, suluc. i hope you've said your prayers, it's time for you to meet their recipient." gabriel grabs his sword, pulling it across his body. the strong steel blade flips around the opposite side and reverses, slicing directly through suluc's alcohol laden neck on the back swing. the heat of the ferocious swing immediately cauterizes the bloody wound as the convulsing body falls to the ground, lifeless. jamming his sword in the ground, gabriel kneels before the body as the lights in the alley explode in an array of blinding sparks; then darkness. "that one's for my pain." * * * and in the darkness, the smell of death was in the air... * * * "who's here?" spin's voice was sinister and torn. "fucking rats, man. this city's a god damn shit hole." he kicks a can into the air and it catches the light from the street light high above, playing with it, bouncing it off the shiny surface. the can exits the light and into the shadows where it makes no sound. "what the fuck? who's back there?" the can, jetting out from the darkness, bounces off spin's head and hits the ground with a loud clang. he draws a knife from it's sheath around his waist. "you're gunna die for that, bitch." knife outstretched in front of him, spin pokes around at the edge of the shadows. "come out here, punk, so i can cut you up real nice like." the moonlight, just peaking over the tops of the buildings, lights the eyes of grabriel as he slowly steps out of the darkness to face his enemy. spin takes a stab with his knife as gabriel flips over him, floating through the air as if he had wings. stunned from the move, spin barely has time to react to the fist flying straight for his face. blood spurts out of his nose as he stumbles to regain his balance. "tell me where ecks is or you'll die right now." "fuck you and die." gabriel jumps into the air as his foot swings around and catches spin square on the chin, knocking him backward. "you may want to rethink your answer." "who the fuck are you, man?" "i'm the guy who's gunna kill you if you don't tell me where the FUCK ecks is." spin slashes at his attacker, slicing gabriel's cheek. grabbing him by the back of his scrawny little neck, gabriel flips him down on his back and places his sword directly above spin's heart, holding it with two hands, ready to strike in an instant. "now you've had your fun. tell me where ecks is." spitting blood onto the ground next to him, spin finally answers. "he's at the 'glass shadow'. in the back room. that's where he always is, man." "thanks." gabriel starts to move away, then pauses. "oh, i forgot one thing." he flips his sword above his head, grabs it with both fists and thrusts it into spin's heart, slicing it in mid beat. spin gurgles twice, then dies. "that one's for my suffering." * * * and in the moonlight, the sweet smell of blood was in the air ... * * * the moon was high above the earth now, casting it's light down and giving the city a ghostly illumination. gabriel was resting, enjoying the brisk october night as the eleventh hour came and passed. the "glass shadow", just around the corner, was now bustling with activity. the city's busiest night club, the "glass shadow" is the favorite hangout of the very scum of society that gabriel loathes with every ounce of his existence. the people there will surely know him, as he has spent the last three years of his life washing his boots in their blood. this would prove to be a fight of epic proportions. the word had spread regarding the death of two of the city's most hardened criminals and the underground was flooding with rumors. there was no mistaking who had done it; there was only one man who even cared enough. the crowd at the "glass shadow" was waiting restlessly for a chance at revenge. gabriel gets up and pulls out his sword. slamming open the large steel doors of the "glass shadow", he heads straight for the back room. immediately recognizing gabriel as the object of their morbid desires, the blood thirsty hoodlums encroach on him with their various weapons drawn. gabriel, with nothing left to lose and no hope remaining, struts through the blockage of enemies with a look of pure hatred on his face, as the music blaring through the bar shouts it's refrain; "how can i exist without you?" gabriel's sword pierces the chest of his first foe, ripping through the back of his now lifeless corpse. gabriel spins around, pulling the sword out of the gaping wound and slashing the entrails of an enemy approaching from behind. ducking a punch from another, he gains his momentum, slicing the head off his third enemy, then immediately tossing his sword like a bullet into the bare chest of a gun wielding drunken entity. now without weapon, gabriel calls on the power of his own body to make safe passage through the bar, solidly punching another attacker, sending his nose bone into the front of his brain, killing him almost immediately. now standing only five feet from the doors to the back room, gabriel jumps into the air, kicking the door guard in the chest, sending him flying backward through the swinging doors. the remaining enemies back off, knowing that whatever is left of this foe will be ripped apart by ecks himself. "why did you kill her?" "to get to you, of course. my motives are quite obvious, gabriel, my boy." the room, formerly filled with associates of evil, echoes now only with the booming voices of the two mortal enemies. "then take me as i am." gabriel charges the weaponless ecks, forcing him against the stone wall, embracing in a deadly battle. fists fly and often connect, bodies are thrown and blood is spilt. the two dark figures tumble into the next room as the surrounding audience cheers for the victory of their vicious leader. ecks backs off, staring gabriel down while the two circle around an invisible border. "you shouldn't have come here, gabriel. your destiny is sewn, just like that precious little girly of yours." "your life's decay is my destiny, ecks." gabriel charges as ecks turns around, facing the wall. spinning back around, he pulls gabriel's sword out of the hunched body pinned to the wall, letting it fall to the ground. with one lunge, the sword tears through the approaching skin of gabriel, bringing him to his knees, arms outstretched as if petitioning to heaven for his fading life. ecks shakes his head and lowers his voice. "you shouldn't have come here, gabriel." he walks away, leaving the bloody body of gabriel to wither away in agony. flashes of light enter gabriel's tightly shut eyes. images of life circle his decaying brain, flooding his thoughts with a reason to live; a reason to fulfill his only remaining goal. he slowly and painfully slides the sword out of his gushing wound, pulling the tip out of the frontal gash and holding the blade between his two crimson soaked hands. with a final burst of energy, and only one hope remaining, gabriel stumbles to his feet and turns around. blood trickling down his chin, he manages to utter his final words. "this one is for you, alex." with one fluid motion, gabriel tosses the sword, which glides end over end through the stale air and lodges itself into the chest of ecks as he turns around. the small bar fills with a blinding light, windows shaking, floor trembling. the light diminishes into total darkness and the screams of lost souls are heard through the dead air. darkness fades back to light and life goes on, the bodies of the dead disappearing into the blood pools around them. a small twinkle of light dances through the shimmering pool of gabriel's blood. "welcome home, my love." ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( millennium dawning ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` lost alone in my head again thoughts, pictures and perceptions fade into oblivion. visualize the destruction of my time. my reality. my life. infinite perplexions compounding negative productions producing the paradox of empty life. understand not until the end of our eternity. as we approach infinity and lose reality through the crossing of our refractive paths fear not the rearrangement of our meaningless perceptions. ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( assignment: save the world ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` defcon 4. the back lit sign clicked down a level, bringing peace on earth to a grinding halt. it had been 68 years since the treaty, a time of ultimate peace and unity on planet earth. in the year of our lord 2000, at the dawning of the new millennium, a small faction of revolutionaries brought the digital world to it's knees, holding hostage the very backbone of a fully operational planet. demanding that the world bow to them as gods, they ushered in a new era of true peace and enlightenment. what had appeared to most to be the beginning of the third world war had become a prophecy fulfilling engine for peace. technology moved away from war and focused on the betterment of human existence as the populous became education oriented, learning about life and the universe while bringing in the aesthetic beauty of art to revolutionize the view of our planet. for 68 years, we have lived as a single nation, journeying through our infinite realities and working to gain an infinite perspective. 2068. it started three days ago: the earth erupted into a ball of flame in several key cities of the nation. buildings collapsed, transports exploded, and nearly half of the worlds digital network was shut down for reasons unknown. communication, the main tool of our new nation, had been severely crippled. the monitor ahead of me had clicked on just moments before, revealing an enormous being standing on the nasa building in midtown manhatten. the war outside carried the waves of noise caused by the thousands of people stopping their cars to focus on the monitors in nearby shop windows and phone booths. the being had succeeded in instantaneously grabbing the attention of the entire population. "your feeble planet is being reformed. do not resist our dominion. the underworld has become overpopulated. welcome to new hell." large black wings spread from behind the figure and lifted him off into the sky. * * * "i want every man we've got loaded with a rail gun and on the streets and i want it last month! launch the fucking flyboys, get 'em all in the air! prepare every god damn nuke we've got left. we're gunna need enough power to fuck up every anthill on the planet. move out, and god help us all." i didn't know what else to do. we were dealing with the devil here and there didn't seem to be a prayer in heaven to get us out alive. 68 years ago i lead our nation to unity and now we were faced with destruction. the eyes of the world were on me. the future of our existence was in my hands. "what am i going to do?" runtime error at 0000:0047 - divide by zero. "god damnit! this fucking program is due tomorrow. you'd think i'd have learned how to do this shit after 4 years of computer science." "i suppose i'll just finish it in the morning." a flash of remnant phosphorescence floods the screen and goes blank as the power seeps out of the monitor. ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() ,$@-- + + --@$, ,$@-- + + --@$, !$!: ::( back page: my digital utopia ):: :!$! ; !$!: ::( mindcrime ):: :!$! `$@-- + + --@$` `$@-- + + --@$` there's a file on my hard drive right now called deviate1.03. i created it right after i released deviate issue 2, a year ago to this day. it's been idle there for a long time. i never had the will... maybe i just never had the motivation to finish it. it's done now. i've edited it, i've finished unfinished work, i've wrapped it up into a nice little textfile and it's all ready to be published for the world to see. something hit me tonight. after about nine hours of watching tv, a familiar act these days, i was struck down by motivation. it comes at funny times, but i wasn't going to ignore it this time. i hadn't felt it in a while, and i seized this opportunity to finish this beast. and so ends another chapter in my life. yeah... this is the end of the current road for deviate. it's become evident that i can no longer maintain a 'zine by myself, nor do i really enjoy doing so. life is about communication and friendship, and with those things in mind i've formed a new venture with two fellow 'zinesters. with the partnership of edicius, editor of the long running jonas e'zine, and belial, editor of several short lived 'zines, i'm going to be moving forward into uncharted territory and exploring new moods and ideas. we've decided, for no apparent reason, to name this venture "syntax22". hopefully it will be something i can dedicate myself to for a while. look out for it on the web sometime soon. (i'll post a link on the deviate web site when we get something up.) don't count deviate out for good, though. people change, ideas change, life changes. it was the whole idea surrounding the 'zine, and to turn my back on that now would be hypocritical. i wouldn't be entirely surprised if a fourth issue of deviate were to make it's way into the world. maybe not in a year, maybe not even two years. but do we ever really know what's going to happen? if you've gotten this far, i'd like to truly thank you for being a reader of my little forum here. it's been fun doing it, and i'm hoping at least one person had fun reading it. until next time... - mike melli, the man behind the mask. ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() thanks go out to my friends and confidants who helped me with my state of mind: dimes, belial, edicius, buddy, jason, and grey hawk. you guys rock. ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() contacting deviate: email: !- mci@blade.org ftp: !- ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Deviate www: !- http://www.blade.org/deviate bbs: !- alderaan @ 908.224.8780 irc: !- mindcrime ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() astronauts in the weightlessness of pixellated space exchange graffiti with a disembodied race i can save the universe in a grain of sand i can hold the future in my virtual hand. - neil peart, rush ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )() . : \ : ____ ___ __ _ _ ______ \ | \ // . .. ......... ______\ \______\ |_____ _\/__ _______ ___________ ______ . .... .:'/ __ // ___ -__/__ | // /_\ ___ \\ __ // -__/__ :...:'/________/ /__ _ __//__________| \\__| _____ / /_____/ \__/ | \_ |___/ /_____/ D E V I A T E __ /_______\nM \/ ()( -- - ) + -- - - :! -- ## -- !: - - -- + ( - -- )()