Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume I, Issue XXV, Year AD MCMXCVI Monday, December 9th, 1996 ------------------------------------------- 1. Poems 2. Squash 3. It must be the weather 4. rec.music.white-power ------------------------------------------- 1. POEMS Dissapointment, I don't want it by Suzanne Schumacher (salad@ridgecrest.ca.us) The girl once stood with her face to the sun and stood knowing proud she would not be just "anyone" The world was her playground The ocean washed her clean And nothing so normal was just what is seemed Her golden head shivered and gleamed in the light Her own natural crown Like the stars in the night And "with rings on her fingers and bells on her toes" She could make music but where could she go? The place where she watered a whole world of wishes is now over run by a sink full of dishes - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The first moment by Leandro (leandro@ifront.com) The first moment I saw you in the store You saw me And I didn't know. The first moment I saw you I knew I could love you If you could love me You had sort of a flavour The way you looked And you looked at me And I didn't know if you saw me And there wasn't any question to ask I was standing there with some groceries I started moving the groceries But I didn't know what shelf to put them in But I figured I wanted to do it in such a way That it looked like I had some purpose But I really just wanted to look at your eyes all the time And you said with your eyes "Look at me with your eyes Look at me with your eyes" In that first moment Your face burned into my dream And right away I had this feeling Maybe you're lost Until now Maybe I'm lost Until now And I thought Maybe I'm just making this up But your eyes Looked like they were saying "Look at me more" I would move the groceries Look at you My breathing changed Then I felt something dissolve I felt there might be a danger That anything could happen in the next moment Maybe you would turn away from me Or you could say Let's go together Forever ------------------------------------------- 2. The rules of squash: by Marco Tabini (mtabini@ifront.com) squash: v. (action) squeezing, turning something into pulp, "I squashed his head with a pair of pliers". / n. (sport) a sport practiced by two individuals that desperately chase a small blue ball around a court and severely bruise themselves as they hit their heads against the wall, without ever actually hitting the ball more then twice in a row, other then the odd 1:745 ratio. Winner is the casualty with less physical damage. 1. The goal of the game is *not* to hit your opponent in the genitals. 2. While playing, you must wear protective goggle at all times. This will not only cause blindness due to condensation but also raise the possibility of eyes and eventually brain damage 3a. No pain no gain. 3b. No pain no squash 3c. No squash no gain 3d. Cogito ergo sum 3e. Cogito ergo pain ergo squash 3f. No pain, so much better 4. The ball is the blue one. It is strictly forbidden to hit all other balls in play 5. The squash racket should not be used in snow. 6. There is no rule 6 without rule 5 7. Hitting the audience can result in criminal charges. 8. Do not hit your opponent if he is an Arabian terrorist in search of a vengeance against the evil West. 9. It is forbidden to play squash in the middle of mine field 10. Do not check the time while holding the racket with the same hand where you keep your wristwatch. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - YMCA: 10 rules for a better living 1. Beware. If someone of the same sex as yours smiles too much or is too much kind towards you, he's a fag. 2. Do not enter the sauna if you are carrying any explosives 3. Do not play squash with the editor of CoN. He's a lousy player. 4. If you don't remember your lock combination, write it on a sheet of paper. 5. Do not leave the sheet of paper in your locker. 6. Do not leave the sheet of paper in your friend's locker, if he has the same problem as you. 7. Make sure you write your locker's combination with soluble ink, on a piece of paper you have conviniently stuffed in your speedos, as you enter the pool. 8. Do not answer your friend when he says "I'll put the locker's key in my pocket" as you both are about to enter the sauna, completely naked. 9. Eventhough you speak a different language other then english and you crack jokes and offensive comments about everyone in the changing room, make sure the big, strong, muscled, latino-guy sitting beside you doesn't understand you are calling him a "girly-fag". 10. While you are on the cyclette, doing the "Random" program, don't start to panic when your heart rate reaches, according to the machine, 198. Instead, just wonder how come you are still able to pedal, considering you can't feel your legs anymore. ------------------------------------------- 3. It must be the weather by Leandro (leandro@ifront.com) Lately CoN is receving so much stuff from the outside world, that not only I stopped writing my usual weekly blurb, but the next three issues are almost ready. But I like writing (or is that whining and complaining?) so I moved the original article to next week and stole it's spot, so that I could torture everyone with my "deep" thoughts. For a lazy guy like me, running around like a freak with his two jobs, looking for a new apartment to move into, going to the Dojo and the YMCA or just for a night out with friends, CoN is a difficult hobby. I can't deny that it's fun though, especially those nights that I have nothing to do and I go over Colin's house and we sit down planning all this deranged ideas, that one day, we hope, will see the light. It has been kind of weird lately: starting from the weather which hasn't figured out if it's winter or not (it snows, it rains, then the sun comes out..), my future, where I have to decide exactly what to do. IFront has given me a possibility and I took it. However I want to start school and do something, but I can't think of what do. I'm too stupid to go into Engineering, too violent to go into Law Enforcement, my english is not that great to go into Journalism (yeah, right, Journalism). I want to do something which will be fun.. I'll figure it out. It felt as if the world was to an end with the loss of Neetu. But love is like the sun. Tomorrow is another day and the sun is young again. Out of nowhere popped Stephanie. 1996 is almost over, I had made no resolutions for this year but on the other hand I feel like I have achieved a lot, and learned several important lessons -- especially about people. With that, I'll leave you. Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? There is less then 3 weeks left of 96. Even if it has been a bad year, don't waste these precious days. Instead get the most out of them, for they will never come your way again. Pretend it's a drawing; maybe you did some mistakes, the paper is a little dirty, stained, and the picture doesn't look quite perfect. But you learned what the mistakes are. `97 is like a clean sheet of paper. Draw what you learned, and brace yourself, who knows what surprises are coming your way. Or what you might *yikes* be forced to learn! Leandro+ p.s. If your articles don't appear in this issue, please don't panic. I try to keep CoN to a limit of 4 articles per week. If it's not here, it will appear probably next week. Nothing is trashed, everything gets used =) ------------------------------------------- 4. rec.music.white-power A group of NEO-NAZIS are trying to form a newsgroup on Usenet called "rec.music.white-power", so that they can get their message of hate out to young people using the Internet. Newsgroups are public discussions on the Internet and their formation requires enough support from the Internet community. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US HAS ONE VOTE when it comes to creating a new Usenet group. I hope you will vote NO and thereby tell these NAZIS we don't want their stuff on the net. Below is the procedure, please repost this plea and get the NO vote out. If you want to see the official call for votes, you can try on "news.group". DO NOT VOTE TWICE - that would constitute voting fraud. HOW TO VOTE: Send e-mail (posts to newsgroups are invalid) to: music-vote@sub-rosa.com This is an impartial, third party vote taker. Please check the address before you mail your vote. Your mail message, to be accepted by the counting computer, must contain only the following statement with no signature: I vote NO on rec.music.white-power Vote counting is automated. Failure to follow these directions may mean that your vote does not get counted. If you do not receive an acknowledgment of your vote within three days contact the votetaker about the problem. It's your responsibility to make sure your vote is registered correctly. Here's what Canada's George Burdi, of the neo-Nazi Heritage Front, had to say about this vote, on February 21, on his RESISTANCE mailing list: "There is a call for votes coming on rec.music.white-power in the next week or so, and you will be notified in a special issue of RREN exactly what to do. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. Let me be perfectly blunt and state that we have more than enough net-nazis to win this thing handsdown. But every one of you must vote YES! And just voting yes means nothing unless you do it properly. So you have been forewarned. The instructions are coming to your email box soon, and they are not complicated. Just follow them as told, and we will have a WP music newsgroup finally!" If Mr. Burdi's confidence disturbs you, please give this letter the widest possible distribution, and help us deliver the largest NO vote in the history of the UseNet. -- brought forward by Suzanne Schumacher (salad@ridgecrest.ca.us) -------------------------------------------